It is funny how God puts people in you life to inspire you to do or not to do things. I think I may take up blogging and see how it turns out. I feel like God has been really working in me and I'd like to use this blog as a way to keep track of that growth. O.k. so this week has been a rough week we had found out my driving record had tons of offenses on it that I never committed so we've been paying extra for insurance since Quinton and I have been married, there have been a few disagreements between Quinton and I, I found out my scholarship funds may be getting pulled, and at one point we thought Quinton wouldn't be getting a reenlistment bonus that would have meant no wedding. Well let me say TO GOD BE THE GLORY. I have been growing so much closer to God these past few weeks and man does it feel AMAZING. For the first time in my life I really knew what it meant when people say to trust God and He will take care of things. I prayed to God that He would take care of it. I also said that I knew it wasn't Him causing these issues but Satan trying to attack me and I wasn't going to blame Him for it but praise Him for everything He has blessed us with so far. I learned in discipleship about the Holy Spirit being able to intercede in prayer for you when you don't have the words to say that in that time of turmoil when you can't speak the Holy Spirit knows what to say to God for you and it was funny because that same day I was able to apply it. I broke down in tears and just cried and cried and it was so comforting that God was able to hear my unspoken words. I have also been reading in Job and it is amazing to know that Job went through way more than I have ever gone through but yet in the midst of it all he still praised God. It touched me when God was talking to Satan after he had attacked Job and how highly God spoke of Job. He said he was perfect and to me that was so miraculous that just because Job was faithful to the Lord God praised him. It made me think of the day I stand before the Lord and how much I would love to hear my Lord say, "Well done my good and faithful servant, well done." I want to live life with no regrets and I never want to wish I would have done more. What I have been doing to hopefully accomplish this is I have been doing discipleship weekly and making every effort to make it to every church service. The hardest thing I have been doing is watching my tongue. For such a small part of the body the tongue can have such a detrimental effect. I have been making every effort to use my tongue to only speak good things. I have seen so many people hurt by words alone and I want to make every effort I can to not be that person. I have also signed up to volunteer at Habitat for Humanity and Big Brothers Big Sisters I just hope the Lord uses me. I would love to make volunteering my ministry since with Quinton being in the Air Force we really can't go to a different state or country. You know what though I have seen such a need for the gospel hear in Missouri and I just hope I can meet that need. Well I will update you again soon with what the Lord has done in my life.

October 1st, 2009

So thanks to my friend Tanya I have explored the world of blogging. Today made me realize a lot of things. One is how beautiful life really is. The other is how I have not written in the longest time. I use to write everyday and had such a deep passion for it and now I never make the time for it. Today was a hectic day I had some guy try to scam me online and so almost fell for it so I spent my day running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to figure out what to do. I also had the chance to meet some new people it was wonderful! I have been having the most difficult time lately so it was nice just to forget everything for once. It was nice going to church tonight and just laughing for a little while as well. I don't know why but for some reason I am having a sleepless night I can't find it in me to want to go to sleep I have so many thoughts running through my mind. I have been so anxious lately just to hurry up and finish school because I really, really, really want to travel. There is so much out there and I want to explore it! I have never been out of the U.S. and it is driving me insane. I am about ready to go to bed because of course school is bright and early tomorrow but before I end this blog I am going to try to write something and post it at the bottom of this just to see if I am as rusty as I think I might be.



I woke up to a crisp cold breeze grazing against my cheeks. Breathing deeply I take it all in and feel like I never have before. The beauty of life is how you can see something everyday and still be caught by surprise by just how wonderful it really is. The sun is warm against my body but the light wind wraps itself around me and I feel chills run down my spine. Thoughts run through my head and I am excited to see what is in store for me today. As the days events start to unravel I feel like I am in a suspense novel. At the moment I feel anxiety, stress, and pure disappointment but as I step back from life's choke hold I realize that I can find the beauty in every situation because I am a strong woman. I take a walk outside my mind and engage myself in the nature of this world. As I do this I find myself feeling like a playful child. I find myself wanting to splash in the enticing little puddles of rain that decorate the plain concrete and find myself wondering why we hold ourselves back from experiencing life's little joys. My heart beats really loud inside my chest. I feel like there is a little drummer inside me beating away and I have no control. My ears ring with the sound and I wonder if anyone else can hear it. I'm afraid to let them hear my heart. Stop! Be quiet! This is what I am yelling to myself but my heart just isn't listening. The funny thing about a heart is you can't change it like your mind. No matter what you are thinking your heart knows the truth. There may be a feeling tearing you up inside and no matter what you tell yourself your heart can still feel it. You can still feel it. Although it may be difficult to endure I hope this heart of mine continues to beat to the sweet melody of life and that even through the difficult times I can remove myself from life's everyday obstacles and just listen. I can't wait for the day when I will experience such serenity that words will not be able to nearly describe what I am experiencing. There will be no need for words. There will just be pure happiness.