October 1st, 2009

So thanks to my friend Tanya I have explored the world of blogging. Today made me realize a lot of things. One is how beautiful life really is. The other is how I have not written in the longest time. I use to write everyday and had such a deep passion for it and now I never make the time for it. Today was a hectic day I had some guy try to scam me online and so almost fell for it so I spent my day running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to figure out what to do. I also had the chance to meet some new people it was wonderful! I have been having the most difficult time lately so it was nice just to forget everything for once. It was nice going to church tonight and just laughing for a little while as well. I don't know why but for some reason I am having a sleepless night I can't find it in me to want to go to sleep I have so many thoughts running through my mind. I have been so anxious lately just to hurry up and finish school because I really, really, really want to travel. There is so much out there and I want to explore it! I have never been out of the U.S. and it is driving me insane. I am about ready to go to bed because of course school is bright and early tomorrow but before I end this blog I am going to try to write something and post it at the bottom of this just to see if I am as rusty as I think I might be.



I woke up to a crisp cold breeze grazing against my cheeks. Breathing deeply I take it all in and feel like I never have before. The beauty of life is how you can see something everyday and still be caught by surprise by just how wonderful it really is. The sun is warm against my body but the light wind wraps itself around me and I feel chills run down my spine. Thoughts run through my head and I am excited to see what is in store for me today. As the days events start to unravel I feel like I am in a suspense novel. At the moment I feel anxiety, stress, and pure disappointment but as I step back from life's choke hold I realize that I can find the beauty in every situation because I am a strong woman. I take a walk outside my mind and engage myself in the nature of this world. As I do this I find myself feeling like a playful child. I find myself wanting to splash in the enticing little puddles of rain that decorate the plain concrete and find myself wondering why we hold ourselves back from experiencing life's little joys. My heart beats really loud inside my chest. I feel like there is a little drummer inside me beating away and I have no control. My ears ring with the sound and I wonder if anyone else can hear it. I'm afraid to let them hear my heart. Stop! Be quiet! This is what I am yelling to myself but my heart just isn't listening. The funny thing about a heart is you can't change it like your mind. No matter what you are thinking your heart knows the truth. There may be a feeling tearing you up inside and no matter what you tell yourself your heart can still feel it. You can still feel it. Although it may be difficult to endure I hope this heart of mine continues to beat to the sweet melody of life and that even through the difficult times I can remove myself from life's everyday obstacles and just listen. I can't wait for the day when I will experience such serenity that words will not be able to nearly describe what I am experiencing. There will be no need for words. There will just be pure happiness.